Psalm 32:9

Do not be as the horse or as the mule which have no understanding, Whose trappings include bit and bridle to hold them in check, Otherwise they will not come near to you. NASB

Have you ever tried putting a horse's bit into their mouth? They don't like it, and for good reason! It hurts! It isn't designed to be pleasurable for them, but to help in guiding them because they won't simply listen and obey. God often times will use painful things in our lives to guide us into His will, similar to a horse's bit. However, the secret here is that God doesn't want to use the bit on us! He would prefer we would listen to Him and then obey Him. This begins by taking the time to hear from God in the first place. Without that, we won't be able to do the next step. Spend some time in God's Word and praying each day gives you the chance to hear what God is saying. After this, we need to do what He is saying. Sometimes we might not understand what God wants us to do or why, but that isn't important. If it matches God's Word and Jesus' commission, then go for it. When we do this, we won't eliminate pain from our lives, but that pain will be the pain of the enemy, not God, and thus we can cling to the promises that He will give us the strength and power to overcome the trial and that it will work out for good in the end.